#CareerDiaries: Quitting Doesn't Make You a Quitter

The word "quit" doesn't have the best connotation.

Ever hear the saying that "Quitters don't win and winners don't quit?"

What a load of bullsh*t.

Quitting has nothing to do with winning or losing.

It has everything to do with making choices that honor your wholeness and your ability to share your skills in a way that is meaningful to you.

We all saw an incredible example of this on the world stage earlier this summer, when Simone Biles stepped back from competing in several Olympic events in order to care for her health and lead her team.

In doing so, she set an example that makes space for all of us to set boundaries, define our own paths, and make space for others to step up—even when there is immense pressure that it's all down to you.

Quitting doesn't make you a quitter. It makes you the leader of your own life.

In this edition of #CareerDiaries, we'll hear from a 30 year-old nonprofit professional who, after seven years with her organization, is talking herself through the roller-coaster of putting in her notice and launching her own business.

Day 1
My boss asked me to work from the office today and it was one of the strangest experiences I've had in a long time. Putting on my work clothes, leaving the apartment early, walking into the building as though this enormous global trauma (not to mention the passage of 14 months in general) hadn't changed me...I feel so different now, I am so different now, but it's invisible to people at work. 

When I sit at my desk I feel all of this muscle memory coming back—it would be so easy to just slip right back into this world that's not right for me anymore. Yikes. 

My inner knowing is sure that all of this isn't me anymore, but no one knows about my plans yet. It's so strange feeling this gap between who they think I am and who they want me to be, vs. how I see what's next for me. I think quitting will feel like finally coming clean in a way.

Day 2
I see an IG post about how starting something new is easy enough when you think of it as just finding the beginning of the thread. That really resonates with me. I'm nervous, tired, and surprised to not have a more complete 25-step plan for what's next, but this is the beginning of the thread. I am following it. 

Day 3
I am COMPLETELY dreading the quit conversation, but today I realize that if I wasn't worried about managing my boss's reaction and disappointment, I wouldn't actually be anxious. I know leaving is right for me, and honestly, for my organization too. It's time. And I can't control her response, so I need to try to let that go. 

Day 4
One of my favorite therapists on TikTok (no shame, get into it) said that one thought can completely change your whole experience. And I'm sick of driving myself nuts with anxious quit thoughts! So I want to try to reframe: I'm excited for this quit conversation, because I'll finally get to unburden myself and officially open the door to my future. 

Day 5
While catching up with my dad, he tells me that I've done what I can, and now I just have to do my best and wrap things up. It's so simple, but it's a comfort. I really have done what I can here, and it's time to move on. 

Day 6
It's Monday back from a week off and I can't even tell what I'm more stressed about, an overflowing inbox or giving my notice on Friday. But I'm not turning back!

Day 7
My husband and I go paddle boarding after work and I remember a conversation we had around this time last year, in the same spot, about what we wanted next out of our lives and our careers. And in this moment, I'm so close to finally creating what we talked about last summer. I'm making it real. I'm proud of that, and grateful for it. 

Day 8
A "duh" but powerful insight: being unhappy at work for several years was waaaay too long. (Filing that life lesson away for safekeeping...) Future self: don't sacrifice yourself for everyone else's expectations, for what would be convenient or helpful for them. At a certain point, you have to decide to have your own back. And feeling like you're limping to the finish is a real bummer. 

Day 9
I present at our team meeting and feel... sad. On paper I'm doing well and my work is finally bearing fruit in ways we've worked towards for a long time. But this isn't what I want anymore and I'm not as engaged as I want to be or should be. I wish there were more ways for employees to safely share when they're hitting a wall and it's time to move on. It's hard when everyone is counting on you to do the things you're good at and you just... don't want to do them anymore. These accomplishments show me I've been successful, but it doesn't feel like I hoped it would. 

Day 10
The quit conversation is excruciating, but I do it. I'm thinking about how Glennon Doyle told her daughter (paraphrasing!) to disappoint everyone else before she would disappoint herself, and that's what I'm trying to keep in mind. Right now I'm a reliable, high-achieving employee making everyone else's life and career easier -- except mine. So I'm choosing to listen to the voice that says I need to follow my own goals now. I need to have as much (if not more!) care for myself as I do for everyone else. 

My client's words bear repeating:

"Don't sacrifice yourself for everyone else's expectations, for what would be convenient or helpful for them. At a certain point, you have to decide to have your own back."

Channel your inner Simone Biles and honor yourself.