What does it really mean to be a resilient leader?
One of my clients has been working in a leadership role for an international service organization for the past eight years. The job has gotten a lot tougher with time, due mainly to a new boss who came into the picture four years ago. Since then, there have been dramatic fall outs, blow ups, and misunderstandings.
She has pulled out every tool in her toolbox to find a productive way to collaborate and move forward, to cope with the dynamic and continue on, and even to distract herself through continuing education opportunities. And yet, the dynamic continues.
She is starting to realize that she is fully experiencing burnout.
One of her core values is grit, which is all about her belief in her capability and resilience.
Toughing through the hard stuff is part of our work as mission-driven leaders. But too often, we push it too far.
We hold resilience up as a virtue that we all need more of—we are rewarded for muscling through, for sacrificing in service of the mission.
In the words of my coaching colleague, Sas Petherick: “Too much resilience warps our view of adversity and stress. We lose the capacity to know when enough is enough…We are not lacking resilience, we are lacking self-compassion.”
Here is what resilience is not:
• Powering through at the expense of your mental and physical health
• Getting through it without any help and relying only on yourself
• A state or characteristic that you can “achieve”
• Bouncing back time and again through adversity no matter what
This is how I define resilience: the adaptability and creativity to move forward with wholeness.
Imagine a rushing river. Even if a rock or branch obstructs its direction, the river will find a new way to flow. It will wind around impediments, forging new pathways.
We have this same capacity, and it doesn’t need to come at such a high price.
“Resilience” is baked right into my mission statement: To help leaders navigate their work and lives with purpose and resilience. It’s how those two words—purpose and resilience—come together that’s most important to me.
It’s about moving forward through a changing world in an intentional way that is true to who you are. Self-compassion and self-care are undoubtedly an essential part of that, especially for mission-driven leaders who need to consider how to sustain their important work.
And so I asked my client: What does sustainable leadership look like for you?
Her response: That question is opening a new door in my mind...
Hopefully, it’s one that integrates purposeful, authentic leadership with a creative path forward.
