Quitting is a Leadership Skill: Three Leadership Lessons from Simone Biles and Joe Biden

Simone Biles receiving the Medal of Freedom from President Joe Biden in July of 2022. Source: @simonebiles on Instagram.

At the last summer Olympics in Tokyo, all eyes were on Simone Biles.

She was known to be a top athlete, maybe even the GOAT. She stood in the spotlight as the captain of the USA women’s gymnastics team and expectations were sky high—we were counting on her to perform some of gymnastics’ hardest skills and lead Team USA to the gold.

Suddenly, she made the controversial decision to withdraw from the competition, taking a step back for the good of her own health and for the team. In a practice session on the vault, she experienced what gymnasts call “the twisties,” where one’s brain and body stop tracking each other and you lose your sense of where you are in midair. In an intensely physical sport like gymnastics, it can be extremely dangerous. After she landed safely, she went directly to her coach to say that she couldn’t continue the competition.

In the days that followed, everyone seemed to have an opinion about Biles’ decision. Some praised her focus on her own mental health. Others lambasted her for being weak, for giving up, for failing to serve her country.

Over the past couple of weeks, as we watched Biles once again step up to lead Team USA on the Olympic stage in Paris, another prominent US leader made the controversial decision to step down from his position as the Democratic nominee for president, citing the good of the country.

Top athletes and prominent politicians do not drop out.

When they do, it’s big news.

That’s because stepping back can be seen as a sign of weakness that leaders must avoid at all costs—a sign that they’ve failed.

But knowing when and how to step back, to step down, to quit—is actually a sign of maturity and effective leadership. It’s a leadership skill that we need to see modeled more frequently.

Here are three lessons we can learn from Biles and Biden:

1. Leadership isn’t just about standing in the front.

Leaders often stand in the spotlight or on the podium. They’re the top dog, meant to lead the charge and get results. They’re expected to shoulder our collective expectations while driving solutions. They’re expected to win.

But leadership isn’t about being a star—it’s about sharing a vision with a talented team, and empowering that team to bring their skills forward and achieve great things together. A leader’s role is to ensure that we’re moving toward that vision. That doesn’t always mean standing in the spotlight.

Being a true leader means getting the right people in the right roles to advance the vision and achieve shared goals. That means being able to step up to lead and step back—having the awareness and flexibility to serve the team in the best way possible.

As Biles showed us, leadership can equally happen from the sidelines. When she withdrew from the Tokyo Olympics, she didn’t disappear. She served her team in a whole new way—with support, encouragement, and her steadfast presence.

For an everyday leader, this might look like delegating an opportunity for visibility to a member of your team. While you might be practiced at standing in the front of the room, how might empowering someone else to grow their skills be in the best interest of the team? What other leadership strategies might you utilize as you support them from the sidelines?

2. Effective leaders don’t put the team at risk for their own glory—or themselves at risk for the glory of the team.

Effective leaders prioritize purpose over their pride. They know that their role is to empower the team to win, not feed their individual ego. Biden told us in his oval office address that nothing could get in the way of “saving our democracy. That includes personal ambition.” Historian Jon Meacham, who has helped in writing speeches for Biden, remarked on this in an interview with NBC News: “…in an era where so many of us privilege power over principle…the president has given us a lesson: that our own wishes, our own immediate desires, should not always be controlling.”

On the flipside, effective leaders don’t martyr themselves for the cause. They know that they need to have energy and fortitude required to lead well. Back in Tokyo, some wanted Biles to put her personal health concerns to the side in order to serve the greater good of the team. But she saw that as an even greater risk. In an interview with Teen Vogue, she said: “It would be so selfish of me to put the team’s medal contention in jeopardy, put myself in jeopardy.” Effective leaders know that their leadership needs to be sustainable.

For an everyday leader, this might mean recognizing when you’re approaching burnout or you’re simply ready to take on fresh challenges. It also might mean asking yourself why you’re holding on to your leadership role: Is it for your own good or is it truly the best thing for the organization? For your own wellness and for the good of the team, it may be time to pass the baton to the next leader—one who is ready to take on the organization’s challenges with a full tank of energy reserves and fresh ideas.

3. Effective leaders get honest with themselves—and proactively invite honesty from others.

The maturity and wisdom to know when to step back comes from both inner and outer input.

Leaders need to make the time for inner reflection—for asking hard questions of themselves: Do I have the reserves in the tank that are needed here? Am I the right person to lead this company at this moment? Would the organization benefit from a leader with a different background and perspective than mine? Rather than blindly pressing on in the name of their role or the needs of the team, they need to check in with themselves and get honest about where they stand.

Leaders also need to not only request but actively encourage honesty from those around them. As leaders move up, people around them are less likely to share candid feedback—because they fear negative consequences or because it’s uncomfortable to be critical of those who hold more power.

In an interview with ABC News, Biden said that “only the Lord Almighty” could convince him to end his bid for re-election. After hearing that, can you imagine a member of his team feeling safe enough to share their honest take?

For the everyday leader, this means cultivating a team environment where your people know that it’s safe to share an opposing view. Actively solicit feedback from your team by asking a question like: “What’s your perspective on what kind of leadership our organization needs right now?” Show them that you want their thoughtful guidance, not their total assent. When they offer an opposing view, even if it’s hard for you to hear (“Mr. President, I think you need to pass the torch”), genuinely thank them for sharing their perspective and take it into account. It will encourage them to be honest with you in the future.

***

Leadership isn’t about serving and winning at all costs. It’s not about never dropping out. Leadership is about thoughtfully assessing what is needed in the moment—and sometimes that’s not you. Like Biden taught us, collective purpose is more important than personal ambition. And like Biles taught us, stepping back doesn’t mean giving up—it means investing in our sustainable leadership. She sure showed us in Paris.

"Simone Biles Moments":

Four Real stories from clients who led by stepping back

​Freya was a mission driven leader who felt a deep sense of purpose and commitment to her team and organization. But after a year and a half leading a fledgling organization, she could feel her performance slipping. She powered through because she knew her team was counting on her to see the organization through a difficult time, but when she allowed herself to truly get honest with herself about how burned out she was, she realized that it was in her best interest to leave the organization. She didn’t have the reserves in the tank that were necessary to drive the organization forward and provide stability and strength for the team. It was in their best interest, too, that she make space for another leader who could take on the challenge with energy and endurance.

Abby was six months into her first job in public relations. It was hard won after nine months of a grueling job search, but it was nothing like she expected. Her boss, who had promised to mentor and train her, was only sporadically available (usually when she’d done something wrong). She worried about messing up—so much so that some days she wasn’t able to eat at all. She was too anxious to sleep. More established professionals around her encouraged her to stick it out for at least six months, for the sake of her resume. But in an act of self-leadership, she made the decision to leave a job that was making her sick, and go back to her retail position to regroup and pivot.

Rex co-founded and grew an organization from the seed of an idea to an established and thriving nonprofit. After ten years leading the organization through extensive growth and the challenges of the pandemic, he looked around and saw a strong team in place. They were ready to step up. It was time to pass the torch of leadership to the next generation of leaders. He didn’t know what was next for him, but he knew he was ready for some new challenges—and that his team was ready to usher the organization into the next chapter.

After Hannah retired from her career as a priest and spiritual leader, she was still a sought-after mentor—particularly for female priests in new leadership positions. She mentored with the kind of care and presence that makes people feel seen and valued and safe. She had a particularly close relationship with a younger female priest named Aaron, whom she supported through challenges and growth over several years. At a recent meeting, Hannah pulled a pink stole and chalice down from her shelf and gave them to Aaron, explaining that she had used them throughout her ministry and was now passing the mantle. In a sermon that Aaron shared later with her congregation, she reflected: “To have the person you admire most in the world trust you with their story, with their legacy, with the tools of their heart - is a gift beyond words. And it isn’t lost on me, the responsibility it holds.”