How to Quit Your Job, Guilt Free
One of my clients recently landed a great new job, and as excited as she was about what’s to come, she came to our next coaching session weighed down with guilt and dread about leaving her current organization.
She wanted to know: How do I tell my manager that I’m leaving? How much notice do I give? How do I make this transition in a way that doesn’t put too much of a burden on my team?
It’s no wonder this was gnawing at her—she told me that her manager regularly joked that, You’re never going to leave me, right? If you do, you have to give me a year’s notice!
While it’s great to know that your boss values your contributions (to the edge of dependency?), no one wants to feel trapped in their position like this.
Here’s what I know to be true:
• Great people get great new opportunities, and that’s nothing to feel guilty about. You have every right to move on to your next steps on your own timeline—and the people that really matter will be happy for you.
• This is a chance for your company to become more resilient. It isn’t healthy for organizations to become overly dependent on any one person. When one staff member carries all the institutional memory or is the only one who knows how a certain part of the business works, that’s a liability. Resilient, sustainable organizations need to cross-train.
• Stepping aside isn’t necessarily a nuisance for your team—it’s likely an opportunity. New people can step up, take on new responsibilities, and stretch themselves in new ways. Plus, they’ll bring a fresh and creative perspective to the work.
• There is a reason why two weeks notice is the standard: because it’s the perfect amount of time. Many mission-driven professionals are inclined to give as much notice as possible— five weeks, six months, or even one year! We think that we’re being helpful, but we’re not. The transition process is like packing for a vacation—it will take as much time as you give it. Two weeks is a perfect amount of time to document the status of your projects and pass along next steps. This way, you won’t be standing with one foot in and one foot out the door—which is awkward for everyone, especially you.
• Sacrificing time between jobs because “they need you” is a missed opportunity. I’ve written before about how essential it is to take time off between jobs, and how few of us (even if we’re privileged to be financially able) carve out this time for ourselves. Instead, we give as much as possible to the previous job and start the new one as soon as we can. You’re shortchanging yourself—and your new organization—by not giving yourself the opportunity to start your new position renewed and ready to learn.
• You’re more than likely leaving the organization better than you found it. If you’re someone who gives thought and care to what it means to be leaving your team, chances are you have documented and organized your work in the way that you would have wanted it handed off to you when you arrived on your first day. Give yourself credit for this—it’s a valuable service to the organization!
As for my client—she pumped herself up to have a candid conversation with her manager. Despite his nervous comments about being worried that she’d abandon him, he was happy for her. She gave two weeks notice, documented and handed off her work, and took two weeks off before moving to a new city and starting her new position—refreshed and ready.
