All the little choices I had to make—bottles, pacifiers, sleep training, going back to work, childcare, the list goes on—felt like some kind of an algorithm that added and deducted points, spitting out a calculated score on the Good Mom barometer. I was always tallying the score. And as a result I always felt anxious and guilty.

When I was first promoted to a management position, it wasn’t much different. I put so much pressure on myself to be a Good Manager—I wanted so badly to do right by my team. (None of us want to be one of those Bad Bosses, right?) But, like so many new managers, I was learning management skills on the fly. It was as new to me as changing diapers.

Last Friday night at bedtime, I was reading a chapter book about Eva the owl with my seven year old daughter, Avery. Eva’s owl class was having a show and tell about their hobbies, and each student brought in something to share about what they like to do for fun. After all the owls shared, they talked about their parents’ hobbies. But while other kids could easily say what their parent enjoyed doing, Eva wasn’t quite so sure.

I turned to Avery before flipping the page and asked: “What do you think Daddy and my hobbies are?”

She thought for a quiet moment and then said: “Ummm…lying down and working??”

That hit me in the gut. This is why…