How to Manage the Unknowns that Hold You Back

I recently spoke with a new client who lives halfway around the world. When I asked her what made her reach out right now, a swirl of questions tumbled out of her:

• I’m not sure which path to take: This? That? This other thing?

• What’s even possible? Do I have the credentials required?

• Which paths would give me the stability I need for my family, but also be fulfilling? 

• How would the schedules affect my ability to be there for my family?

• How can I frame my skills to show I’m the right fit for something new? 

It’s no wonder she reached out—walking around with the weight of these questions is exhausting. It’s reached the point where she’s tired of sitting with these questions on her own, but has realized that she needs a roadmap to develop the focus and clarity to actually move forward. 

So many of us are carrying the weight of our own cloud of questions, hoping that the answers will come clear at some point. But at the end of the day, when we get a chance to finally sit down and think them through, we feel overwhelmed and exhausted. We turn on Netflix instead. 

I once had a client who told me: When I met you, I had all my dreams up on a shelf. For years. I could tell you about each of them. I could tell you all the questions I had about them, all the reasons why they were sitting up on the shelf instead of being real and in my life. And I had gotten really comfortable with just complaining about that. But then, through our work, we started to take each one down from the shelf. We worked through the questions. We got answers. And now they’re not just dreams—they’re becoming real. 

What’s up on your shelf right now? How long has it been there? 

And most importantly: What is the cloud of questions that’s keeping it there? 

So often, we let the questions keep us stuck. I don’t know, clients say all the time. We let the unknowns stop us in our tracks and justify staying where we are, often with the devil we know. 

What are those unknowns? Write down the questions. What are the steps to actually finding out the answers—to making the unknowns into knowns that will help you to actually make an informed decision about how to move forward? 

Perhaps it’s a matter of a phone call to an expert. Maybe it’s a coffee date or two with people from the industry who can give you the inside scoop. Or five minutes of internet research. These small steps add up. 

For years, I wanted to launch my own business as a full-time coach. But I was scared of the unknowns, and kept my coaching practice on the side. The biggest unknowns that stopped me were: How will my taxes work? How do I file as a business with the government? I let these questions stop me.

When I finally sought out the answers, it turned out that spending one hour with my accountant made these steps clear. I couldn’t believe how simple it turned out to be after I let these unknowns loom over me for so long. It was just logistics. Easy. 

So today, I’m encouraging you to write down your unknowns instead of carrying them around in your head. Take them down from the shelf, one by one. Find the answers, and make them real. 

As for that potential client halfway around the world: She said to me: Your calm energy has transmitted across the Pacific Ocean. I feel so much more on track.