So many of the folks I coach are going through changes right now—one just gave her notice in order to start her own business, another is starting a brand new job after being at his last organization for eight years, and another is leading his team through a major change in structure.

Change is a major part of our work lives. We need to get better at navigating it. Let’s explore a simple model that helps us understand the structure of change and how we move through it.

There are all of these moments in life that are incredibly defining– that create a ‘before’ and an ‘after’. Starting a new job, ending a relationship, moving to a new city, etc. So many of them I wasn’t aware of in real time. Today might be the first time I’m fully aware of the fact that yesterday was ‘before’ and tomorrow is ‘after’.

In my grief I wondered: How am I going to show up for work tomorrow?

All athletes know that rest days are essential to our ability to push harder and increase our strength, skills, and endurance over the long-run. Without the rest days, our bodies would fight back and fail us, resulting in chronic pain and serious injuries. This is true not only for formal athletes, but anyone who maintains a regular workout schedule–we’re athletes too!

The same is true for the white space in all types of art—it’s the unseen but crucial component that helps create the beauty we experience, whether it’s in the form of visual art, music, dance, film, theater, or literature.

So why is it so difficult for us to apply the same “white space” to our lives?

Often, when we quit a job or have a big change in our lives, we are told to “take good care of ourselves.” But what does that look like? I reached out to my friend, Shannon of Harmony on Hope Massage, and resident self-care expert, her thoughts. What I received completely changed the way I think about self-care.