How to Make Meaningful Connections at a Conference

I'm psyching myself up to attend my first in-person conference in three years. The name tags! The windowless meeting spaces! The nondescript hotel rooms! The underwhelming tea selection at the continental breakfast!

And most of all: the prospect of introducing myself to people I don't know. Conferences are nerve-racking. Networking, especially now, is intimidating. Will I remember how to talk to people? Are we going to shake hands? What do I say about myself? Couldn't I just stand in a corner and scroll Instagram instead?

While I'm preparing to walk by myself into a room full of people I've never met before...I'm also thinking about what's come about as a result of past conferences I've attended…And I've had a weird and wonderful realization:

Some of the most meaningful and treasured relationships in my life came about as a result of...attending a professional conference?!

Never in my life did I think I would make a best friend at a conference.

Earlier this month, I had the honor of performing the wedding ceremony of two friends that I never would have met were it not for the magic of the Massachusetts Nonprofit Network conference (shout-out to the beautifully plain Sheraton Hotel in Framingham, MA!).

How do you go from a mystery meat lunch with strangers in a hotel ballroom to being the officiant at their wedding ceremony?

Here are six simple ways to make meaningful connections at a conference:

1. Think Ahead

Ask yourself: What's your goal in attending this conference? What do you hope to get out of it? Getting clear on your purpose helps you to see the opportunities to engage in meaningful ways. Some examples:

• I'd like to meet another education program director I can bounce ideas around with.

• I'd like to meet someone from X company to learn more about their Y initiative.

• I'd like to meet someone who has Z role so I can learn a bit about the qualifications and skills it takes to get that type of position.

2. Say Hi

While you're waiting for a session to begin, sit next to someone, turn to them and say, "Hi, I'm [your name]." Instead of silently scrolling on your phone, take this simple step to make a connection. It's not as scary as you'd think. The person next to you is also there to meet people and they'll be relieved that you took the first step to start the conversation. Every time you practice simply saying hi, you'll build the muscle to introduce yourself without the jitters.

Angelica

I met Angelica when we connected around the fact that we were the most junior employees at the National Endowment for the Humanities conference in 2014. We live and work on opposite coasts, but that conversation blossomed into a genuine friendship. We've since co-chaired a national committee, visited each other, and cheered each other through career and personal life shifts.

3. Cast a Few Lines

The goal of every conversation is to make a connection. Share a few bits about yourself and your interests that open up possibilities for connection. Think of yourself like a fisherman - you could cast one line into the water: "I'm a coach," and you may get a bite. But if you cast more than one line, "I'm a career coach for mission-driven leaders. I'm from Providence, Rhode Island. And I'm really excited about meeting folks from museums here because I am a huge fan of fiber arts," there's a lot more there to bite. The more lines you cast, the more likely you are to find and tease out a point of shared connection on which to build a friendship.

4. Talk to the Presenter

If you felt interested in or inspired by one of the presentations, be sure to talk with the presenter. They're humans just like you, and hearing that their message was helpful or resonated with you will make their day. They chose to present on their subject because they're a nerd for it, and answering your question or hearing your feedback will be a true joy. You never know where a connection like this might lead!

Theresa

After my session at the Massachusetts Nonprofit Network conference in 2018, Theresa got brave and approached me with a question about what to do when your values don't align with your supervisor's. While we didn't solve all her problems in that short conversation, it was the start of coaching, friendship, and trading ideas and support as fellow writers and business owners.

5. Better Yet, Become a Presenter Yourself

Presenting at a conference is a great way to stretch yourself, own your expertise, and develop professionally! Here's the great thing: The bar is low, people! How many presentations have you sat through where the speaker read their wordy slides verbatim to the audience? If you can manage to not do that, congratulations, you'll be one of the more informative and engaging sessions of the conference. Putting together a presentation forces you to capture and recognize the know-how you've gained through your experience.

6. Follow Up

After the conference, send a quick email to the people you met to say how much you appreciated meeting them (or connect on LinkedIn and include a personalized note). You can ask another question, plan a time to check in, or just say thank you. You never know where something like this might lead.

Jessica

Jessica followed up almost two years after attending my session at the New England Museum Association Conference in 2019. It was a simple message of gratitude—sharing that the seeds we planted in that session gave her the courage to make a career shift. Little did she know, I needed more coaching capacity at the time. So when I read her thoughtful message and discovered that she was also a certified professional coach, I reached out to set up a follow-up conversation. The rest is history.

You never know when seeds you plant at a conference will sprout. There's a great mystery to it. So it's important to go in prepared to make the most of that potential magic.

After meeting at that conference, Theresa introduced me to her former co-worker, Allie, who introduced me to her (then) boyfriend, Chris, as well as her college roommate, Maddie.

Fast forward to a year and a half later: At Allie and Chris' wedding, I served as the officiant, Theresa (brilliant copywriter), wrote the ceremony and sat next to my daughter (the flower girl), and Maddie (a bridesmaid).

And it all started at a professional conference.

This didn't happen by keeping to myself. It happened because I've developed the courage to stick out my hand and say to a stranger, "Hi, I'm Carole Ann."

You can do that, too.