A Simpler, Deeper Way of Approaching Goal-Setting.

As a coach, I love goals! But goals don't much matter unless we truly understand WHY they're meaningful to us.

When I was going through my coaching certification program, my trainer Stephanie led us in an exercise to completely change how we think about goals. 

When she asked for a volunteer to share one of their current goals, my classmate Sal piped up: "I want to get my business up and running and have eight clients by the end of the year."

"That's great," Stephanie said, "but that's not a goal."

We all looked at each other, confused. Sounded like a goal to us! 

"How will you feel when your business is up and running?" she asked.

"Proud," said Sal. "I'll feel aligned, like I'm using my skills to help others."

"That's the goal," Stephanie explained.  "The goal is to feel proud and aligned. Launching your business and getting eight clients is the action you take to get to those feelings."

Boom! The conversation totally blew my mind and forever shifted my approach to goal-setting and how I teach it to others.

For the past eight years, I've chosen one guiding word as my intention for the year. A guiding word is a true goal—the ultimate feeling you want to cultivate in your life. Resolutions are just the actions you take to experience that feeling. 

- Going to the gym three times a week is an action. COMMITMENT could be the why that drives you to do it.

- Devoting yourself to a daily meditation practice is an action, and you do it to feel a sense of STILLNESS.

Choosing a word of the year is a deeper way to be goal-oriented. 

Your word is always there to guide you, whether you act on it every day, reflect on it every now and then, or forget about it for three months. Unlike a resolution, it can't be broken; you can't fail. You can always come back to it. And I like to think that just by choosing a word, that intention is always at work on your behalf.

Each year around this time, I ask myself what kind of ride I will need in the year ahead.

Is it a time for doing, for challenging myself to step out and play bigger? Then I choose an active word.

Is it a time for being, leaning back, and turning inward? Then I choose a more gentle, passive word. Sometimes my word is BIG, sometimes it's quiet. 

Each guiding word leads me to the next. It's not a matter of failure or success—did I do it, or not. It's about tuning into a purposeful intention, practicing coming back to it again and again, and seeing what it has to teach me. 

Not every ride is a fun one—living the word ENJOY during a pandemic was a real trip! But every word has given me a richness of experience and deeper self-knowledge.

My word for 2021 is FREQUENCY. I know better than to think I fully understand a word before spending a year with it, but right now it means tuning in to what is most essential. It means beaming out my unique air waves to share ideas with others. And it means paying attention to my pace: doing the things that bring me alive—like writing and thinking about big questions—with greater frequency.

As you begin this New Year, I invite you to think first about how you want to feel, not what you want to do. Ask yourself:

- What feelings do I want to cultivate in my life?

- How do I want to show up as a professional?

Use your answers to these questions to connect to a deeper sense of WHY you invest your time and energy in any particular pursuit this year.