From striving for "what's next?" to another way of being.

Nov 11

Achieve. Excel. Prove. Strive. Progress. These are all words that I would use to describe the first decade of my career.

In a job interview along the way, I was asked to what I attributed my "meteoritic rise" through five job titles in seven years. Me, a meteor!

The question took me by surprise because I thought the answer was so obvious. Isn't that what I'm supposed to be doing? Isn't that what I've been taught my whole life? Rise to the top. Go to the best school. Get the best grades. Perform. Strive. Achieve.

The drive towards What's Next? is ingrained in each of us. We expect to advance quickly, to rise within our organizations. We believe that once we land that next thing, then we'll feel like we've "made it." And if we're not making leaps and bounds forward, we feel that we're falling behind.

Something important is lost in all that striving: an appreciation for where we are and for the time it takes to build the skill, experience, and self-knowledge to do our best future work—our sense that the process of becoming can be fruitful, affirming, and even...fun?

In the words of Jennifer Romolini, "Do you actually like this career you entered? Then why rush it? What is your hurry? Why not savor all of the different positions in it; why not have fun, learn all its different facets, make friends, experiment, collaborate, try new things, f*ck up, try more new things, get mentored, have less of the boring high-level responsibility and more space and creativity?"

When I left a nonprofit leadership position to launch my full-time coaching practice, I made a decision based on Alignment rather than Achievement. I took the time to untangle what "success" means to me—and what I found was surprising.

Even though I'd been living by it for my whole life, the rise to what's next didn't actually fulfill me. To me, success isn't about my impressive title or compensation. Success is living from my heart, enjoying my work and life, and taking on meaningful opportunities to use my skills in service to others.

It's not about forward and up for forward and up's sake; it's not about barreling towards more as quickly as possible, thinking that will finally make me feel whole.

My measures of success now are about the long game. They're about depth, authenticity, and actually enjoying the work.

In a time when many of us are facing professional setbacks due to conditions beyond our control, it's important to remember that not moving forward doesn't mean you're falling behind. There is fulfillment and wholeness available to us right here—if we just take the time to actually define what success truly means to us.

When I meet with clients now, I make sure to ask: "What's shaking?" instead of "What's new?" Because I think we've come to focus too much on the new. Instead, what would happen if we sink into what's meaningful in the now?

Some questions to think about: